Bert Christensen's Weird & Different Recipes
Lust Burgers
 8 Really Thin Slices of Smoked ham (not Shoulder)
8 Thin Slices of Gouda cheese (or use your favorite cheese)
1 Heaping Cup shredded Swiss Cheese
5 tb Mayonnaise made with Safflower (not SOYBEAN) oil.
4 Mushrooms
3 tb Butter
1 Tomato
8 md Thin slices of French Bread

Let the swiss stand open at room temperature for twenty minutes before you start. Wash the shrooms, pull of the feet, and slice the heads thinly. Slice the tomato thinly as well.

Make four sandwiches in the following fashion:

Spread both pieces of bread with mayo. You must use the mayo like glue to hold the sandwich together. Now sprinkle both sides generously with the shredded glue a slice of ham onto the swiss shred. Now glue on some sliced tomato on one side, followed by a slice of cheese, shrooms, more cheese. Now glue the other half on top of this.

Butter the OUTSIDE of the sandwich lightly, then Grill it on a grill, in a skillet (my favorite) or in a sandwich thinger until both outsides are toasted just the way you like it. Enjoy.

WARNING: Do NOT substitute MIRACLE WHIP, REDUCED CALORIE MARGARINE, etc. in this recipe. It is immoral and illegal to attempt to eat LustBurgers without clogging one's arteries. If the idea of a fried sandwich full of ham and cheese and glued together by mayonnaise made from fat and more fat grosses you out, then LustBurgers are not for you!

~josh brown

Collected by Bert Christensen
Toronto, Ontario