|Results of the Fifth Caption Contest
|1st Prize (15 seconds of fame)
Janet Reno... The Early Years
|2nd Prize(30 seconds of fame)
You forgot the cement shoes, you idiot.
|3rd Prize(45 seconds of fame)
Maybe the discount spa wasn't such a good idea
|Three Mile Island doesn't have a public beach?|
|In the days before time,
emerged from the primordial ooze
Big haired Barbie doll. Last seen in fish face lake.
|COULD BE WORSE.... COULD BE RAINING|
|Joan had her doubts that the health spa's mud soak
had done any of the previous visitors any good.
|Sure, it's dank! But it's still better than the YMCA!|
|After complete and thorough testing,
Barbie decided the soup was no good at all
|A disgusted Barbie wonders why Swamp Thing is always
late when he asks her to meet him at his favorite place.
|What really happened to your Malibu Barbie|
|TALK ABOUT THE EYES FOLLOWING ME ROUND THE ROOM!!|
|Barbie's Really Bad Hair Day|
|Swimming in New Jersey|
|Quadriplegic Barbie seeks the other half of her body|
|"Please don't hate me because I am BEAUTIFUL".|
|Hi my name is Smarby...I am just sitting here in this muddy
reflective bath wondering why my shoulder is the same size
as my boobs...is it really that noticeable? Or I am
just a freaking paranoid bitch? hummmm???
|"Future Camelot: Lady of the Lake 2050"|
|Hmmm, now where did I lay my arm last night?|
|In a parallel universe: elephants have carrying cases complete with
accessories while Barbies have sacred graveyards...
|Francine was not amused as Harold hid out of site
with her clothing, snickering.
|Extremely Bad Hair Day!|
|"Where's my nipples?"|
|Harold. this oil leak is getting worse!|
|I know this exclusive spa getaway got bad reviews,
but you just couldn't beat the cost.
Hmmm, I think my nipples just fell off!
|WHAT THE HELL DID HE EAT?|
|PMS is nothing to joke about|
|"I really don't think I should have taken those`shrooms
before coming to the beach."
|I'm melting! MELTING!|
|Chainsaw Barbie's chainsaw sold separately|
|2014: His transformation complete, Michael Jackson conquers
his fear of wading through the Everglades with the sort of
confidence only a 97% blood-free body can provide.
|Sex change Chaka joins the Sleestaks Underwater Cunnilingus Team|
|Silicone--the new flotation device!|
|"He better get that darn shower fixed, I am so engorged!"|
|"I wish I knew what happened to my sculpture during that flood!"|
|One night, President Bush had a happy wet dream about
drilling various, uh... things in Alaska, including it's pristine landscapes.
|There has been another oil spill...|
|Where used Barbies go to die...|
|Darcy would have been doomed if it wasn't for her pontoon-like breasts.|
|After losing the house in the divorce, Barbie's favorite game,
Marco Polo, will never be the same.
|With sunrise flickering warmly on the dim horizon,
Letitia awoke with a shock from her bathing reverie,
realizing she'd stayed far too long....
|Oh my god! Saddam killed Barbie! You Bastard!|
|What REALLY happens when you pee in a public pool.|
|What Elvira really looks like after taking off her wig and
washing the makeup off in her pool of doom
|These silicone implants have been nothing but a living
now look what's happened! I go swimming and one pops
a leak and kills all the little fishies and their friends too....
oh well they were getting rather annoying as well
....biting at my nipples like that...serves them right
|Madonna finally found her ultimate state of nirvana
in butcher's septic tank
|Hell - ooooooooooooooooh, Dali !|
|Marie Antoinette in a pickle|
|And the Hotel Night Clerk assured her the Hot Tub was clean.|
|Barbi's evil twin sister wading with a few of her friends.|
|Prehistoric Cave Woman discovered in La Brea Tar Pit
Budafuco wants to date her ASAP
|Finally, we are now able to see through the eyes of someone who is under
the influence of ecstasy and heroin at the same time.
|The Pills Have Eyes|
|Enid made a mental note never to swim in The Dead Sea again.|
|Clairol Hydrience Shade #43: Hello, Dali!|
|It was a bad night for sex, so she went swimming instead.|
|Toy Company exec admits: .....that the "Princess of Hell Barbie"
was a 'poor choice' for this summer's new line of dolls.
|Located on former wildlife protected lands, woman wades
in oil company sponsored swimming hole.
|Barbie wished she had just taken the Prozac|
|Where have all the wild horses gone?|
|Barbie is having a though time deciding
what her next fun and exciting activity will be.
|Melissa finally found a place where she would never again
hear the dreaded words, "bad hair day"...
|Hmmm, seven of nine drops some implants.|
|Dali's first nude|
|Barbie had a Serious Case of Floaters|
|This spa has gone to hell|
|Valdez, schmaldez! I'm going swimming|
|Reflections on Immortality: Everything around you dies.|
|"WELL, THAT'S THE LAST TIME KEN PLANS OUR
|Take me away, Calgon!|
|Fish 'n' Tits|
|New from Mattel: Post nuclear holocaust Barbie--complete
with her own swimming pool!
|BARBIE HELL UCINATION|
|Sonja just couldn't remember where she'd put her keys.|
|JANE HAD KNOWN THAT THE SEAL ON THE FREEZER DOOR
HAD BEEN FAULTY FOR SOME TIME, BUT COULD
NEVER REMEMBER IT BEING QUITE THIS BAD!
|From the Cover of Vogue to Hell|
|The Swimming Hole at the Geo. W. Bush Nature Reserve|
|~ALL BARBS GO TO HEAVEN~
to a theater near you
|See my floaties are working!|