Bert Christensen's
Truth & Humour Collection
The Thinker


Things to Ponder
- Can you cry under water?

- When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunky dunk."

- How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

- Since bread is square, why is sandwich meat round?

- Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? Taxes?

- Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

- How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

- Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

- If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

- Why are you IN a movie, but you are ON TV?

- Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

- How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?

- Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

- I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting
clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!

- Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life, we could simply press Ctrl Alt Delete and start all over?

- Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

- If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!

- Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever