Bert Christensen's Weird & Different Recipes
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Spam Haiku
Spam Haiku is coutesy of John Strong.

Writing Spam haiku,
Sharing my most heartfelt thoughts:
Does Spam think of me?

Spam can alter time
and space without much effort.
Love that quantum food!

Spam in the corner
How mysterious you are
Tell me your secrets....

Spam in the window
Changing in the sun's bright light
Oh my special friend....

Spam in the morning
On the pillow at my side
I'll never forget....

The world keeps spinning
But you never change your ways
Spam is forever....

Pink tender morsel
Glistening with salty gel
What the hell is it?

Ears, snouts and innards
A homogeneous mass
Pass another slice

Cube of cold pinkness
Yellow specks of porcine fat
Give me a spork please

Old man seeks doctor
"I eat spam daily" he says,
Angioplasty

Highly unnatural
The tortured shape of this "food"
A small pink coffin

Spam on my table
Soon winds up in my navel
It's time for a bath

At the corner store
Spam on sale in stacks galore
Fill my cart and smile

Friends come 'round for food
My shelves are laden with Spam
Now they're in good moods

Spam now has no key
Pop-top where the key should be
Emptys still hold pens

Shiny pink cuboid.
Essence of all food goodness.
Oh my heart sings 'Spam".

Spam on my plate.
Arteriosclerosis.
Do I have much time?

Alien lifeform!
Space rays pierce the atmosphere!
They've made Newt's brain SPAM.

Spam Spam egg and Spam,
Spam bacon sausage and Spam,
or Spam Spam Spam Spam

Pork shoulder and ham.
Spam can do what other's can't.
Burp and fart all night.


Collected by Bert Christensen
Toronto, Ontario