| He adored her. She had a classic shape, a 91.44 – 60.96
- 91.44 centimetre body. But it wasn’t only her physical appearance; she
loved cars, sports, all his favourite movies. On their first date, he took
her to a football game where they had seats on the 45.72 meter line,
shared a few 1.126 litres of beer, and ate 30.48 centimetre long hot dogs.
Afterwards they went to see Jules Verne’s classic film, 111,111.107
Kilometres Under the Sea.
Leaving the theatre, she asked if sometime he might like to see her
favourite movie, Mary Poppins. Turned out it was one of his
favourites too. Shyly he admitted, "I love it when she sings, ‘4.929
millilitres of sugar helps the medicine go down.’" She smiled
warmly, pleased. "Aw, gee, I love your smile," he said. "I’d
walk 1,609,347.042 kilometres for one of your smiles." They made
plans to see Mary Poppins, and also God’s Little 0.405 Hectare.
He drove her home in his red Mustang. "Oooooh," she crooned,
"I love its power, and its shiny finish." "It’s got a
186.5 kilowatt engine," he explained, "and every 2.54
centimetres of it is hand polished. I’ve also got it rust protected and
shine coated; I’ve always believed that 28.353 grams of prevention is
worth 0.454 kilograms of cure." "It must have cost a
fortune," she exclaimed. "It wasn’t that bad, and besides,
sometimes you have to live for now. Once they bury you 1.829 metres under,
you can’t enjoy much of life."
They took the long way home, driving many kilometres out past town, and
although he was friendly and warm, he never did anything improper. "I
like you," she said, "You move slow. Most guys, give ‘em 2.54
centimetres, they’ll take 1.609 kilometres." "Well," he
suggested, "don’t criticize a man till you’ve walked 1.609
kilometres in his shoes. I can see why a guy might move fast with you; you
are a beauty." "Gee, I’ve never thought of myself as
beautiful." "Of course you are! You mustn’t hide your light
under a 0.352 hectolitre; you’re an attractive woman...."
M. Louise Ripley, Fall 1992
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