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| EuroEnglish |
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The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has
been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European
communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of
negotiations, her Majesty Government conceded that English spelling had some room
for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as
EuroEnglish (Euro for short).
In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c".
Sertainly, sivil servants will reseive this news with joy. Also, the hard
"c" will be replased with "k". Not only will this klear up
konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome
"ph" will be replased by "f". This will make words like "fotograf"
20 per sent shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach
the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage
the removal of double letters, which have always been a deterent to akurate
speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the
languag is disgraful, and they would go.
By the forth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
by "z" and "w" by "v". During ze fifz year ze
unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and
similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz year, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor
trobls or difikultis and evrivum vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze drem
vil finali kum tru
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